Creepers on the train #1

Happy nearly Christmas,

Its almost the big day! I hope everyone has bought all of their presents & food....i popped to the supermarket yesterday for some bread, complete chaos! What is wrong with people this time of year? I'm sure the shops are closed for a total of 2 days. The scary thing is, i don't think it's just this time of year. Anything could set us (the human race) off at any moment, end of the world conspiracy, children's birthday party, black Friday, 1% off sale at Millet's. We have turned into a consumerist society. Take my wife for instance, she's 20 something weeks pregnant & constantly uses the excuse "but it's for the baby" to buy random items. Yeah right I'm sure the baby needs a pair of £30 Mini Dr Martin boots, She's not even born yet!!! I'm just as bad though, i saw a baby sized Judo Gi on Amazon & added it to my basket before regaining my senses & switching to the wish list. Dr Martin's & a Judo Gi, this little girl doesn't know what she's in for!

I rode the fast train to work yesterday, for some reason i always pick the carriage with the toilet. Can somebody please tell me what the extremely loud bang coming from the toilets every 10 minutes is??? No one was even in there!

MEN, we are quite creepy sometimes. I was back on the pauper train today where i witnessed some extremely interesting social behaviour. A pretty women (not Julia Roberts) got on the train & proceeded to make her way to a vacant seat. As she did so, several males (men) on the train turned & began starring at the woman (present company excluded of course). The woman did not look up at any point. Whilst starring at the women, men were accidentally catching the eye of other men. This momentarily ruined there concentration & diverted the eye shagging, making things uncomfortable for a few seconds. As a man you think (allegedly) that if you catch the eye of a woman, "you're in"! If you don't then she's obviously not seen you or realised that you're giving her "the eye" (or a lesbian). Up until several minutes ago i too believed this to be true but as it turns out (from a very reliable source, a woman) this is a common misconception. Women know who is starring at them at all times (sixth sense or something) but choose not to bother connecting eye beams unless they are actually, genuinely interested. The flip side of this is that some women will engage eye contact with multiple participants thus confusing all male suitor's & unconsciously spinning the world in the opposite direction....bad times! I believe they do this to boost they're own self confidence giving nothing in return to the confidence boosters (us, minus me of course), How Rude!

I've only just realised how feminine my hand looks whilst wearing my wedding ring, maybe i should get a new one. I'm thinking a gold eagle gripping a black Onyx tightly in his talons. That could however have the opposite effect & make it look like I'm hiding something. I think I'll stick with mine, nothing feminine about a rose gold band gently caressing my ring finger bringing sparkle to an otherwise dull fleshy exterior.

How exciting is it when your train turns up & you notice it has the comfy seats on it, i think i need to get out more. I went to John Lewis the other day to look at baby stuff, whilst out i bumped into a friend of mine that i hadn't seen in a while. I'm quite a socially awkward person anyway but after our what can only be described as uncomfortable conversation he extended his arm towards me. Attached to the end of his arm was a hand, this "hand" was clenched in a fist like shape. In the gap where my brain supposedly resides i quickly made the decision that he had obviously made a mistake & forgot to open his hand. Being a fantastic friend i thought "I've got your back homes" & shook his fist. Thus alleviating any kind of oddness & allowing him to save face. Instead of a slow knowing nod he simply frowned at me & walked off. There's no helping some people!

That's enough for today i guess, if you've enjoyed my ramblings (or not) then please leave a comment & share my blog.

Ark @ EE

Dannymar